As a mom and a certified coach who works with women, I’ve always been passionate about empowering women to embrace their unique gifts and create lives they love. But a couple of years ago, I gained a whole new perspective on this mission when I went through sorority recruitment with my daughter.
Now, if the mere mention of “sorority rush” makes you break out in hives, I get it. The process can seem daunting at best and downright demoralizing at worst. In fact, when a fellow Leading Lady posted about her concerns in our Facebook group, the responses were mixed, to say the least.
Some women raved about the lifelong friendships and leadership opportunities their sorority experience provided. Others described the recruitment process as toxic, superficial, and crushing to a young woman’s confidence.
As someone who didn’t participate in Greek life myself, I wasn’t sure what to expect when my daughter decided to rush at her southern university. But let me tell you: it was an emotional rollercoaster that taught me so much about empowering young women to navigate life’s ups and downs.
The Inevitable Sting of Rejection
One of the hardest parts of watching my daughter go through recruitment was seeing her face the sting of rejection over and over again. With thousands of young women vying for a limited number of spots, the odds were always stacked against her.
I watched her get cut from house after house, often without even a chance to meet the members in person. As her mom, this triggered every protective instinct in me. I wanted to shield her from the pain, reassure her of how incredible she was, and rage against a system that seemed so arbitrary and unfair.
But as much as it hurt, I realized that learning to handle rejection with grace is a crucial life skill. In a world that’s always telling us we’re not enough, empowering women starts with teaching them that their worth isn’t determined by external validation.
So rather than trying to take away my daughter’s pain, I focused on reminding her:
- Rejection doesn’t define you. It’s simply a reflection of fit, not a measure of your value.
- You can’t control other people’s decisions, but you can choose how you respond to them.
- The right opportunities will celebrate ALL of who you are. Don’t settle for anything less.
The Power of Resilience and an Open Mind
What amazed me most throughout the recruitment process was my daughter’s resilience and positive attitude. Even as the rejections piled up, she kept repeating her mantra: “Trust the process.”
She understood that just as much as the sororities were selecting her, she was selecting them. She focused on the conversations that felt authentic and the philanthropic missions that resonated with her values. And when she was down to just one house on preference night, she chose to keep an open mind.
That ability to reframe challenges as opportunities and stay hopeful in the face of disappointment? That’s the kind of empowered mindset I want to cultivate in all the young women I know.
Empowering women isn’t about helping them avoid pain and discomfort. It’s about equipping them with the tools to move through it with courage and compassion for themselves. It’s about modeling how to:
- Look for the lesson or silver lining in every setback
- Lean on your support system when you need help bouncing back
- Keep showing up authentically, even when it feels vulnerable
- Trust that the right doors will open when you stay true to yourself
Finding True Belonging
In the end, my daughter accepted a bid from a sorority that she hadn’t initially considered. And you know what? She absolutely loved it!
She made incredible friends, explored leadership opportunities, and dove into service projects she was passionate about. Most importantly, she felt like she truly belonged—not because she changed who she was to fit in but because she held out for a sisterhood that celebrated her, quirks and all.
Isn’t that what we all want? To find our people, our purpose, our place in the world? Empowering women is all about helping them discover that sense of belonging within themselves first and foremost.
When we know our inherent worth, we stop hustling for acceptance from others. We start making choices – in relationships, careers, and communities – that align with our authentic selves. We attract people and opportunities that light us up and call forth our best.
That’s my greatest wish for my daughter and for every young woman reading this. Not a perfect recruitment process or a flawless first semester, but a deep knowing that you are enough, just as you are. A resilient spirit that trusts the journey, even when it takes an unexpected turn. And a commitment to showing up fully and unapologetically in every arena of your one wild and precious life. Because when women empower women to embrace their unique magic? There’s no limit to the impact we can create, on campus and beyond.
If you’re a mom wanting support in empowering your own daughter, a recent grad looking to step into your purpose, or a lady leader seeking your next level of impact, I’m here to help. Let’s connect in my Leading Ladies Facebook group and keep this conversation going! And to my sweet girl, thanks for inspiring me with your courage and compassion I love you to the moon and back.
Join the Leading Lady Community
For more insights and strategies on leading a fulfilling life, both personally and professionally, I invite you to join my community:
- Tune into the Leading Lady Podcast.
- Connect with me on Instagram.
- Join the conversation in the Leading Ladies Facebook Group.
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