258: Finding Self-Worth Through the Lens of Personal Branding Photography with Maureen Porto

Hi there. You’re listening to the Leading Lady podcast. I’m your host, AliceAnne Loftus, and I’m a certified professional coach specializing in leadership and work-life balance. I work with clients to shift their limiting beliefs, insecurities, and self-doubt. This podcast will be filled with tools and strategies to help high-achieving women like you feel connected, empowered, and in the lead of your life, both personally and professionally. Let’s transform your life starting now. Lead yourself, the rest will follow.

AliceAnne: Hi there, leading ladies, and welcome to today’s episode. I’m joined by fellow Leading Lady Ambassador, Maureen Porto. She’s also a very dear friend of mine and my personal brand photographer. I have worked with Maureen for several years. I have seen her in action as she’s working with other women entrepreneurs, and we are really in for a treat today as we talk about bringing self-doubt to self-worth through the lens of personal branding.

Thank you, Maureen, for joining me today.

Maureen: Thank you so much for having me, AliceAnne. It’s always an absolute treat to get to chat with you and talk to this community.

What Personal Branding Really Means

AliceAnne: Yeah. So let’s just jump right in, because I think a common misconception when people think about getting photos for their business or for their brand is that a photo is a photo. But what does personal branding mean to you beyond just the photos?

Maureen: Well, that’s a great question, and I know that it’s often very confusing for people, right? Because it can be a little bit ambiguous. I have lots of women who work for other companies who aren’t the business owner per se, and they’re like, “Do I do personal branding?”

And I am one of those who believes everybody should be curating their own personal brand, because your personal brand is really the soul of who you are. Personal branding is the process of really strategically creating visuals that represent who you are to the rest of the world. And yes, in business, part of that is the goal of sort of being seen as an authority in our industry, in our field, and building trust with our audience.

But more importantly, I feel like it’s important for everybody to begin curating their own personal brand. And I say this to my 15-year-old daughter, “Be careful about what you put out there on social media. This is your introduction to the world. There are people who only see you through that lens, who are making certain assumptions.”

And really, that is the idea of a personal brand. It is that strategic creation and announcement to the world of who you are, what your value is, what your interests are, and it’s really our representation, our digital representation in the world.

Why Personal Branding Feels So Emotionally Charged

AliceAnne: Why do you think personal branding can feel so emotionally charged for people?

Maureen: Oh. I mean, because it feels emotionally charged for me, right? And I think one of the reasons, as a photographer, I’ve decided to focus the last 15 years of my business on headshots, particularly for women, businesswomen, and personal branding, is because I know how important it is, but I also know how overwhelming it can be.

And so it was my intention to set out to say, “What are my pain points?” Because I consistently found that my clients shared my pain points, which surprised me. I’m looking at women who are clearly industry leaders, many of them industry pioneers, and they continue to feel self-conscious about certain things, or understandably overwhelmed.

How much makeup am I supposed to wear? What looks best on camera? These are things outside of their scope of success and their comfort zone. And so as a business owner, I set out to sort of identify those pain points and then help guide them through it. I know that personal branding can be extremely triggering for women in particular because of our culture, right?

We live in a culture where the global beauty industry is the fastest-growing industry economically, right? We live in a time and a culture that financially profits from our insecurities as women.

AliceAnne: Oh, that’s so true and so sad.

Maureen: It’s so sad, and I am subject to it. I read something in Newsweek, or I think it was The Wall Street Journal, last month, and it said… Gosh, I don’t wanna misquote it. It was definitely in the 9,000 range. It was like $9,719 on average a woman spends every year on beauty and personal care products and things like that, and I thought, “That’s a significant amount of anyone’s income,” right?

And I fall into it. I’m trying the things and passing them on to others when they don’t work for me, and I share the same insecurities as all of my clients. But I think it’s time that we kind of change that narrative, and we pump the brakes on all of that. And I think the first part is just recognizing that. The United States is leading the market financially in that revenue generation. I think it’s $677 billion that’s projected alone for 2025 in the beauty industry, right?

So taking back that conversation doesn’t mean, “Hey, ladies, let’s burn our bras and just wear ChapStick on camera.” I’m not that girl yet, you know? And I don’t think we have to be that. I don’t think it’s that polarizing, right? I love Sara Blakely, who shows up with her red lip and her beautiful skin, and she often admits she changes size pants, but she still puts the pants on and steps into the boardroom and steps into power, right? And I think that’s the ticket.

Want to lean into lasers and peels and things like that that I’m enjoying as I age? Go for it, right? But at least show up, and be mindful that our culture sometimes would like you to be quiet and sometimes wants to sell you something else and play on those insecurities.

And it’s okay from time to time to pause and step back and say, “I’m still gonna show up, and I’m gonna do what I need to do to show up as the best version of myself,” right? In my studio, we guide you through wardrobe guidance. We tell you what will look best on camera and flatter your figure. We take the time to do professional makeup artistry.

I have stylists that my clients have worked with. Hair and makeup are always included. We want you to look like the best version of yourself with curated, great professional lighting and all of those touches. But ladies, show up. Right?

When You Hate Having Your Picture Taken

AliceAnne: And I mean, I’ve worked with you for many years, and I still look like me. It doesn’t look like an overdone me. And what I love about it, just to touch on, yes, you wanna help us show up as our best, and I am that client that calls you and says, “I don’t know what to wear. What’s most flattering? This is so hard for me.” I am definitely a camera-shy woman.

I don’t like to have my picture taken because I see it, and I just immediately pick it apart, and I’ve really had to kind of quiet that inner critic. But I know you hear that a lot. So how do you respond when you have someone like me? How do you respond when we say, “I hate having my picture taken”?

Maureen: I see you. I feel you. It’s the reason I do what I do, right? I am much more comfortable behind the camera than I am sometimes in front of the camera. So I don’t dismiss any of that. And I also understand that you are an expert in what you do, and maybe that doesn’t always include what’s gonna look best on camera, how much makeup, right?

These are things that are outside of your sphere of excellence, and most of the women who come through my studio and branding studios across the country are all experts in their fields. And I feel like it’s my obligation to be an expert in my field so I can guide them through those things.

And it’s understandable that she’s not going to automatically know the tips and tricks for what’s gonna look best on camera. And you’re right, there is a secret to it, because it’s not a makeover, ever. If you are ever part of a personal branding experience where you feel completely made over, it’s not the right one, right?

AliceAnne: Not a glamour shot.

Maureen: Right. Exactly. And there’s no adulting costume, and I have plenty of industry professionals who struggle with that. “Should I wear a suit? I never wear a suit. Am I supposed to wear a suit?” No, you’re not. “Can I show my tattoos? I have tattoos. My grandmother said I would never get a job if I had tattoos. Can I…?” Yes, you can show your tattoos.

You can be authentic, right? We can be authentic, ladies, and we can still show up as the best versions of ourselves. Not a different version of ourselves, the best version of ourselves. And I think part of it is just doing that work. You touched on having to kind of quiet those whispers of insecurity, and we all do. We all do, right?

And I think that’s our obligation as women. I think it’s a helpful mental trick to remind ourselves that there are people out there who are profiting from our insecurities, people out there who might want to see us fail.

AliceAnne: Unfortunately.

Maureen: Yeah. Unfortunately. But there are lots of people who are cheering us on, and lots of other women who are watching. And I think leaning in to…

Showing Up for the Next Generation

AliceAnne: And our children. I mean, I’m a girl mom. I have a daughter, too, early 20s. You have a young daughter. They’re watching how we’re showing up, and if we’re shrinking back and picking ourselves apart…

Maureen: And our sons, AliceAnne. I apologize. Our sons as well.

I remember shortly before I was even pregnant and expecting Jack, my first son, I read a quick little blurb in a magazine, and it was a quote from Kate Winslet. And she said, “I’ve never heard my mother or my grandmother or my aunts compliment their own bodies, and so I’m intentional about doing that in front of my children.”

And it stuck with me. As many times as I was battling my own internal insecurities, I silenced that for the sake of my daughter. I silenced that for the sake of my son. I have the privilege of working with lots of female industry leaders who are not girl moms, they’re boy moms.

But what an incredible role model those young men have, to watch their mothers step into their power, to watch their mothers silence their insecurities and go on to do great things. And maybe their sons aren’t even aware of the work that their mom has to do to silence the critics, right? They just see their mother shining, and that affects who they choose as a wife and how they raise their daughters.

So you’re right, there is this whole intergenerational connection. And I think of it all the time, and I remind my clients, “What would you tell your girlfriend? That her butt looks amazing.” “Your butt looks… I’m telling you as your girlfriend, your butt looks amazing.”

But I think we are much harder on ourselves than the world is. We know that from neuroscience and marketing. Nobody is zooming in on our branding portraits and looking at every pore on our face, right? We’re cavemen, you know? Our ideal clients, we’re all evolving cavemen. They see us for seven seconds and decide whether or not they want to work with us, and it’s not always because of the condition of our skin or how big our lips are.

Fortunately, people don’t seem to be looking or googling that when looking for a photographer, right? So I get it.

AliceAnne: Imagine finding a photographer with the best skin.

Maureen: Right. “Let me go to the most intimidating, beautiful one,” right? Lucky we’re not supermodels trying to make our way through those industries.

So I remind myself of that. What would I want my daughter to do? What kind of a world do I want to create for my daughter, for my nieces, for my goddaughter, for my best friend’s daughters, for the next generation of little girls we’re mentoring? ‘Cause they’re watching. They really, really, really are.

AliceAnne: Yeah.

Maureen: They’re watching.

Creating a Space to Feel Seen, Safe, and Celebrated

AliceAnne: Absolutely. You touched a little bit on this, but working with you, you’ve really carefully curated a space that allows your clients to feel seen, safe, and celebrated. Oh my gosh, I tell everyone, everyone needs a Maureen Porto, because you’re such a hype woman.

It just feels good to be around you. I know part of that’s just who you are, but I have to believe that you’ve curated this. You’ve been very intentional about how you do this.

Maureen: I have, and I think part of that goes back to the beginning of my professional photography days. I often like to say I’ve been a photographer my whole life, from my earliest memories of picking up a camera and kinda documenting the world around me. When I left the financial services field and became a full-time mom and was taking photos, some of my earliest clients were asking me to photograph their babies and their families.

And it quickly segued into situations where the mother of the family would say to me, “Oh, I need a headshot. We’re gonna be going on the interwebs soon, right?” This was many years ago. “There’s a new platform called LinkedIn, and I apparently need to get a headshot for that, and all I have is a bridesmaid’s photo and my passport photo. Which one should I use?” Like, “Ugh, honey, let’s take something else.” “Oh, but not without the kids in front of me.”

We all wanna hide behind our partners or our friends or our children in photos. And I quickly realized how many women I looked at as just gorgeous, right? Beautiful. Because they just shined brightly with intelligence and confidence and the ability to manage their children and their careers and the carpool and their husband and their girlfriends.

AliceAnne: All the things.

Maureen: All the things. And I know looking from the outside it looks a lot more seamless than it does in the home for them, but I saw all of these beautiful qualities, and I would watch women tear themselves apart with their insecurities. And I’ve said this before, it’s difficult. It’s like watching a phoenix rip her wings off, and I always thought there’s got to be a better way.

Let’s make this more private. Let’s not do this in the middle of a family session. Let’s not do this without really identifying what the pain points are and finding the right resources and guidance, so we can do it well, and then she can be excited and proud.

For me, I feel very blessed. I say this every day. I work with a diverse group of clients who are all doing amazing things in their industries. I get the opportunity to see them, to guide them, to celebrate them, to watch them up-level their careers, up-level their businesses, drive their success forward, or keep their success where it is, and really dig in and serve the clients that they have, take on new partners, take on new opportunities, do these amazing things, and I get to cheer them on from the front passenger seat.

So it is incredibly inspiring, incredibly fascinating. I hear the most amazing personal stories from my clients as we spend time together and unpack all of the things, business and personal. But most importantly, AliceAnne, I think the gift for me, and I’m gonna try not to get choked up, is watching that evolution from the woman who has been triggered in her self-worth with the idea of this personal branding session, right?

It triggers feelings about her self-worth, and I get to watch her do the work to silence the critic, to do the hard things, to recognize that she can do the hard things, and then come out on the other side having boosted her self-confidence.

It happens every single time. All of a sudden she looks back and she says, “Wow, I feel really good. And when I feel good, I’m kinder to my husband today. I’m kinder to my children. I’m better in traffic.” I get these voicemails and emails late at night from women who are like, “Just so you know, the rest of my day was magic. Your makeup artist knocked it out of the park. I never knew that those were the right jeans for me, and now I’m so excited ‘cause my butt looks fabulous, and we curated this great thing. And I got an opportunity to see myself in this other light,” right?

Because let’s face it, as female business owners, whether we’re moms or wives or not, we’re all doing all the things, right? We’re still filling all the hours, right? And we are running fast, and we’re doing great things, but we’re tired. We’re overwhelmed. Sometimes we’re bogged down with the parts of the to-do list that are still unchecked, right?

But having this experience, whether it’s with me or with somebody else, I watch it always become an experience where women say, “Wow, I got to see myself through that light. I am doing great things in my business. I came in because I got a promotion, and I needed this photo, and all of a sudden I’m like, ‘Damn, I got a promotion.’”

And we get a chance to kind of pause all of the noise and all of the things and say, “Wow, I’m launching into this next season of my career,” or, “I just left my company, and I am now launching my own business,” and that’s exciting. Yes, it’s scary and overwhelming, and this is one of many things, many stops along the way, getting these portraits done, and the web guy, and the SEO, and all the things. And it’s busy, and it’s frantic, but dang, good things are happening, and that’s a boost. That is a celebration.

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Mental Tricks for Reframing Insecurity

AliceAnne: You know, I think a huge shift for me was when I stopped looking at photography from a perspective of vanity. It was more about showing up and showing my value in my brand. I would love to hear your thoughts on that.

Maureen: Well, I’ll be honest again, if you’re asking my personal thoughts, I have some mental tricks, and I think the mental tricks are important. Whether you’re sitting down to take your LSATs or you are sitting down to be part of a personal branding shoot, anytime there’s an opportunity outside of your comfort zone, those mental tricks are game changers, right?

And for me, I remind myself when I’m not feeling the healthiest in my body or the most connected to my body. Perhaps I’ve just been unable to exercise. I’m not eating as well as I should. The weeks have been busy. I haven’t had time to just take a walk or get to the gym, right? And so perhaps I feel a little heavier in my body than I normally would.

And while that could, in the past, trigger insecurities, I’m reminded of my soul sisters, ‘cause we all have them, who didn’t get the privilege of gaining weight. Tonya Robinson, Bess Smith from Severna Park. These are women in our communities who were tragically taken down by cancers. And I would call and text every day and be like, “How much weight have you gained?” That was the success.

And when I’m saying, “Ugh, I’ve gained weight,” it can no longer be a negative, because I immediately think back to the women who fought like hell to gain weight, who fought like hell to be here with their loved ones and didn’t get that luxury. And it immediately reframes…

AliceAnne: Perspective.

Maureen: Yeah, as a privilege. It’s a privilege.

And as corny as it is, sometimes I think if you don’t have a face to that story in your own life, think of Eleanor Roosevelt, right? Think of these women who were pioneers. I can imagine a world where Eleanor Roosevelt was like, “I feel a little too wrinkled to serve as a delegate to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.” Like, what?

You know, imagine a world where Oprah Winfrey was like, “There aren’t enough women of color on TV, I’m just gonna wait.” You know? “I’m just gonna wait. I’m gonna wait for the… Let me just hold on.”

Lucille Ball, right? What was that, the 1950s? CBS wouldn’t even use the word pregnant. Do you remember that? Oh, I remember being fascinated by that part of the story, right? They had to dance around it in the scripts and call it expecting and all these other things, and they hid it for a little while. She was behind counters and holding purses and all these things on camera. And finally they were like, “We can’t even…”

Lucy slept in separate beds. That’s how 1952 it was. And while she wasn’t the first woman to show up pregnant on television, she, in my mind, is the icon for pregnant women. Imagine if she was like, “I’m gonna look too big. I’m not gonna do it.” Because not only was she this groundbreaking, incredible comedic icon, she became the first woman to lead a Hollywood studio with Desilu Productions.

She went on to do incredible, groundbreaking things within her industry, right? So who am I to be like, “Oh, my skin doesn’t look good enough to be in my friend’s photo today. Oh, we’re at an event with another photographer? I’m not gonna be able to whisper to him the way I wanna be edited, so I should just duck out of the photo.”

No. We all can show up and smile and remember the women who went before us, who did much more work than we are, right? I like to remind myself of that. There are women who shattered glass ceilings so we would have the opportunity to be business owners and moms or not, right? And it’s a disservice to them, playing small.

The Story Your Brand Tells

AliceAnne: Yeah. Oh, I couldn’t agree more. I couldn’t agree more. So to close us out, personal branding is really about telling our own story, and you’ve shared some pretty significant stories here, but our branding is our story. So what story are you helping your clients tell? What’s the story that you want your clients to know and feel when they work with you?

Maureen: When they work with me, I want them to know that they’re valuable and that they’re worthy and that they’re enough. And I sometimes think that photography is just my tool to show women that. It’s one of many different vehicles through which women learn that. Sometimes it takes a personal experience. Sometimes it takes the right therapist. Sometimes it takes the right girlfriend and conversation.

Sometimes, apparently, it takes a personal branding headshot photographer who can mirror back to you all of your unique value and your right to show up in this world, and your worth, right? And I think it’s something I’ve had to do the work on. You touched on having to do the work.

I’m not suggesting that it’s easy, but I’m suggesting that it’s worthwhile, and I’m suggesting that as ambitious, driven businesswomen, it’s not an option, right? It’s our privilege, and it is our obligation, right, to do the work. And I think that is partnership, marriage, parenting, life, business. There are many different facets of our life where we are called to do the work, and we don’t get to sit on the sidelines.

If we want to be among… I’m not saying the highest achievers, but if we wanna be among the class of evolving human beings in our generation, it’s our job to do the work, to heal the trauma, to heal the narrative. We all have them, and I think that was eye-opening for me. I do a lot of headshots on the West Coast, in Los Angeles particularly.

I’ve met a lot of celebrities. I don’t say that to brag. I say that only in the context that they share the same insecurities we do. Everybody does. Some of the most beautiful women have the hardest insecurities because they’ve been told that that’s their value, and it’s my job to kinda correct that sometimes and say, “Oh, it’s okay that your Botox is fading and we didn’t time it exactly right, because guess what? You’re doing so much more than that. Your company is a Fortune 50 right now. You’re a woman of color in that boardroom, and guess what? Since your time there, now there are six more behind you.” And I think that’s the important thing.

Chrissy Rey of Pongos Interactive was in the studio yesterday. We took some beautiful portraits of her, and I was chatting with some women on my team and the makeup artist and saying, “Chrissy has such an eclectic, incredible story. She was a zoologist, right? She’s had this diverse background.” And I said…

AliceAnne: Smartest woman I know, honestly.

Maureen: And that’s all I said. I said, “You’re arguably…” I call it the Steve… I’m gonna mess up his last name ‘cause I’m not even smart enough to pronounce it. Is it Steve Wozniak, who was Steve Jobs’ second hand?

And I was saying that to the makeup artist, like, “This woman is so intelligent, you have no idea. She could blow everybody away.” And as part of that introduction, the conversation then evolved to, “Chrissy, tell her a little bit about what you’ve had to do in this industry.” As an owner of Pongos Interactive, she started writing code decades ago, and kind of evolved through the IT and through the whole SEO movements, and this whole evolving industry.

And it was very male-dominated. We’re seeing more women come through STEM programs. We’re seeing more young women go into these fields, but Chrissy was a pioneer, right? And her stories of rolling into meetings with her male team, and rolling into trade shows and conferences, and having other owners of companies kind of bypass Chrissy with their eye contact and speak directly to the guys on her team.

And she said it was funny, ‘cause consistently the guys would be like, “Sounds great. You gotta talk to the boss,” and hook their thumb toward her, and these guys were like, “Wait, wait, what?”

AliceAnne: Well, and she’s such a tiny little thing too. She’s so small.

Maureen: Right. And she said, “Hey, that’s one of the reasons I didn’t set out to be a teacher. My brother’s a teacher, my mother’s a teacher, my father is a teacher, my grandparents were teachers. I didn’t want to be a teacher. I wanted to be behind the computer. And now I teach other people, and I really take joy in teaching children and young ladies, because we’re changing an industry.” And she could be on the cover of Time Magazine, in my opinion, right, with Indra Nooyi and Oprah Winfrey and all of these other female pioneers.

These are the stories I get to hear, and I’m like, “Chrissy, you’re a badass. Look what you’re doing. Look what you’ve already done.” And I think it’s important to lean into that. Nobody said it’s gonna be easy, but it’s gonna be worthwhile. It’s our privilege and our obligation, and I think it’s an interesting journey, right?

And the experience is one where I promise you, you will learn from it, you will grow from it. And if you’re working with another personal branding photographer or me, you will probably at some point acknowledge, “Okay, that was different than I thought, and I showed myself I can do hard things. And guess what? I’ve had this boost because I’ve used these photos, and the response has been incredible.”

AliceAnne: I mean, it just blows your business up. Until you’ve experienced it, you can’t really grasp what a personal branding shoot can do for your business. And I’ll speak for myself here. When I finally showed up, like really showed up, showed my face, and said, “This is who is behind the brand. This is who I am.”

And people don’t hire me because I’m pretty or because they like my hair, or they like my skin, or anything. They hire me because of the value I bring to their business or their life, and the personal branding translates that. It shows you who I really am.

I love that when people look at photos you’ve taken of me, they say, “I can hear your laugh in this.” My husband’s favorite picture you took of me, he said it just captured the joy of how silly I can be. And I think that’s really powerful when someone can look at your brand photos and feel like they are getting to know you.

Maureen: Yes. I love that, and that’s the idea, right? We want to reach our ideal audience. We wanna jumpstart that authentic connection that we’re making. We don’t have to put on costumes. We don’t have to change who we are. We wanna show up authentically as our best selves, and the people we are meant to work with and partner with will recognize that in us and come to us.

And the people we’re not meant to work with, because we’re just not a match, and that’s okay too, will move on to someone else that they feel a connection to. And ultimately, we’re gonna drive sales and change the world. I think owning our own personal narrative is the most empowering thing we can do for ourselves personally and professionally, and it just feels good.

AliceAnne: Yes. Love it, love it, love it. Well, Maureen, thank you for your time this morning. Thanks for sharing your expertise and just championing all of us women to show up. That’s the message I’m pulling away from today, the encouragement to show up. Show up for ourselves and for each other.

Maureen: Thank you, AliceAnne. Thank you for everything you’re doing in the Leading Lady community. I have clients who say to me, “Girl, I’ve been watching you in that little group for a while. It’s growing,” and I realize you’re walking the walk. That AliceAnne, she really has created something special there, where women are championing each other, and you’re linking arms, and everybody’s walking towards success.

And I’m old enough to remember when that was just a dream of yours, AliceAnne, and I watched you do it and crush it, and I’ve watched the lives that have changed because of it, and it feels like an honor and a privilege to play a small part in that. And thank you for everything.

AliceAnne: You’ve played a huge part in that, because you are the voice that says, “Show up. Show up, AliceAnne.” So thank you.

All right. Until next time, ladies, take the lead.

Thanks for tuning in for another episode of the Leading Lady podcast. You can find all of the links and information mentioned in this episode at www.leadinglady-coaching.com. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to follow the show so you don’t miss any future episodes. And while you’re there, it would mean the world to me if you would take a few seconds and leave me an honest review. This will allow me to be able to help other high-achieving women find inspiration, connection, and develop strategies to live and lead with purpose and intention. See you here next week.