If you’re like many of the women I know, you probably start the week with a to-do list to help keep you accountable. You’ve got willpower. You’re motivated. You’re ready to crush it.
But then life happens.
A kid gets sick. A client project goes sideways. Or maybe you wake up on Wednesday and realize you’re just running on empty.
Your perfectly planned week falls apart.
And that to-do list? It stops being a helpful tool and starts feeling more like a scorecard for your failure.
But what if accountability isn’t actually the problem? What if it’s the way we think about accountability that’s been setting us up to fail?
After running businesses for two decades, I’ve figured out that real accountability doesn’t come from forcing yourself to do things. It’s not about willpower. It comes from having good systems, upholding your values (even when that doesn’t feel so good), and admitting that you just can’t do it all alone.
Also, ditch that to-do list!
When Motivation Dies, Your Systems Hold You Up
When you’re grieving, burnt out, or just emotionally spent, motivation and creativity are often the first things to disappear. This is when your character isn’t tested by willpower. It’s sustained by preparation.
I learned this the hard way after I lost my English setter, Millie. For eleven years, she was my shadow. She helped me raise my kids; she was woven into the literal fabric of my home. I even had her kennel built into my kitchen island. When she died, I was shattered.
After losing Millie, I wasn’t in the heart space or the head space to create amazing content about leadership. But my commitments didn’t stop. The thing that kept me moving wasn’t my willpower. That had left the building with Millie’s passing. Instead, I let the systems and processes I had built for my business run like they were designed to. When my motivation vanished, my systems took over.
Life happens. And you need those systems and those accountability checks to keep you moving.
Staying True to Your Values (Even When It’s Scary)
Sometimes accountability isn’t about getting things done. It’s about staying true to who you are, even when fear is telling you to compromise.
A few years ago, we hit a staffing crisis in my childcare business. We were so afraid of being short-staffed that we started saying yes to everything. That included putting up with demands from employees who weren’t right for us. We were just so desperate to keep staff in the classrooms that we felt like we had no other choice.
I finally had to stop and ask myself a hard question: Am I operating from my core values right now, or am I operating from fear?
Holding on to employees who aren’t a good fit because you’re scared to let them go? That’s not accountability. That’s scarcity mindset running the show.
And the same thing happens with customers. How many times have you kept a client who you knew wasn’t a good fit just because you were afraid to lose that revenue? Did taking that money make you feel like you were compromising what you stood for?
Walking away from someone—even when you’re terrified of what happens next—is one of the most accountable things you can do. You’re protecting your mission. You’re honoring your standards.
When you step away from fear and back toward your values, I promise you, you will win in the end.
Sometimes You Just Have to Say “I Can’t”
This one might sound a little backwards in our “fake it ’til you make it” world, but sometimes the most accountable thing you can do is admit you can’t “make it.”
Years ago, I was going through a really hard season, and I was trying so hard to pretend I had it all together. I showed up to a speaking engagement completely unprepared. Frazzled. A mess. I stood at that podium in front of 60 women and just fell apart. I walked out of that room, took a leave of absence, and I was mortified for a long time after.
Fast forward a few years, and I had committed to another speaking engagement. But then everything in my life shifted. I was stretched way too thin, and I knew I couldn’t show up the way I needed to.
Old me? She would have white-knuckled it and pushed through anyway.
But I kept thinking about how I felt walking out of that room full of women who I wasn’t prepared to speak to. And I made a different choice. I picked up the phone, had an honest conversation, and bowed out.
It wasn’t easy. But true accountability isn’t about showing up no matter what. It’s about being honest when you know you can’t deliver.
I would rather disappoint you with my honesty than disappoint you by showing up and not delivering at the level that I believe I should.
What If You Built Accountability Into Your Life?
So here’s what I want you to take away from all of this.
Accountability isn’t about willpower. It’s not about being tougher on yourself or pushing through when you’re running on empty.
Real accountability comes from building systems that keep things moving when you can’t. It comes from having the guts to stick to your values when fear is trying to pull you in another direction. And it comes from knowing your limits and being willing to say so out loud.
So instead of asking yourself, “How can I force myself to be more accountable?”—try asking this instead:
What would it look like to build a business and a life that holds you accountable by design?
Join My Community
If you’re thinking, “Okay, but where do I actually start?”—I’ve got you.
My free Strategic Planning Wheel will help you figure out what systems and support you need to build a business that doesn’t fall apart every time life throws you a curveball. It’s a simple tool, but it’s helped many women get clear on what’s working, what’s not, and what needs to change.
And if you want more conversations like this one, come join us in the Leading Ladies Facebook group. Almost 7,000 women who get it—no judgment, no pretending we have it all together. Just real talk about building businesses and lives that actually work.
