It seems to be “awards season” in my business network. My social media feed has been filled with celebrations, announcements, and yes—a bit of disappointment too. I’ve had several conversations with business owners who are experiencing totally different emotions right now. Some are celebrating their wins with excitement (and rightfully so!), while others are feeling a little blue because the recognition went to someone else.
This got me thinking about what success really means for women entrepreneurs, especially those of us who don’t always fit into the traditional networking mold. And if you’re anything like my clients—ambitious women building businesses while balancing family and personal needs—you might be wondering the same thing.
The Award Experience: A Personal Story
I admit, in my childcare/learning center business, I won awards for many years consecutively. I proudly hung the plaques and stickers on my front door and in the entrance of my buildings. It feels SO good to be able to say “I won best of…” (although for many years, they didn’t have the correct category, so I would win “best daycare”… And that always irritated me because we were not a daycare program… but I digress).
It’s truly awesome to win and feel recognized and validated. It’s a big deal to receive those honors! We actually used to plan huge campaigns, focused on asking our clients, family, and friends to vote for us. It took serious effort to spread the word and build the hype!
But I noticed that I started getting approached to pay for the recognition/hype. That’s when things started to feel less authentic. And that’s when I started to realize that while winning awards felt amazing, those awards didn’t truly reflect the worth of my business or my success.
The Introvert’s Dilemma in Business
Admittedly, I don’t participate in a lot of the memberships, programs, parties, networking events, and socials available to businesses. I’m an introvert, and those things are hard for me. Quite honestly, I’m tired after working so hard in my business.
I’ve always known that because of this, I limit my visibility. Truthfully, sometimes I struggle with accepting who I am and have tried to push myself to get out there more. However, it never goes well. I often leave events feeling stressed, exhausted, or like an odd duckling.
That’s actually why I created the Collective. I needed a group that felt comfortable to me. I needed to feel like I belonged, and I didn’t often feel that way in other networking situations.
When Business Feels Like High School Again
Sometimes, being a woman in business feels like a popularity contest. I’m suddenly catapulted back to high school, where I was just on the fringe… Not popular, not unpopular, but not really part of the “in” crowd. Tolerated, liked, known, but not “it”.
Yuck. It was like no matter what I did, I just wasn’t good enough.
But this isn’t high school—this is real life. I’ve stepped into my own confidence, and I know my value and worth don’t come from external validation. That doesn’t mean those feelings of being an impostor don’t creep in.
I’ll be honest—sometimes I see other businesses winning awards, making a big splash on social media, and I feel… something. It’s not jealousy exactly, but this strange mix of frustration, self-doubt, and maybe even a little regret. Should I be playing the game differently? Should I be out there more, chasing the hype?
You’re Not Alone: What I Hear From My Clients
I hear this a lot from the women I coach. These are incredible women in business who are truly successful—by any objective measure. They’re making money, helping clients, and building something meaningful. Yet they still question their worth because they don’t have the public recognition others seem to have.
Do you feel this constant tension?
- Knowing you’re successful but feeling unseen
- Valuing deep impact but seeing visibility often get rewarded
- Being an introvert who prefers meaningful connections over surface-level networking
For me, I know the work I do matters. I see it in the women I coach, in the businesses that thrive because of my support. But in a world where hype often outshines substance, it’s easy to wonder: does success need to be loud to be real?
The Hidden Truth About Awards
What I’ve learned after two decades in business is that there’s often a gap between public recognition and actual business success. Let me share some truths that might help you if you’re feeling overlooked:
1. Awards Don’t Measure Profit or Impact
Many highly profitable, impactful businesses never win a single award. Why? Because they’re too busy serving clients and building sustainable systems to campaign for recognition. They’re focused on what actually grows their business rather than what makes them look successful.
I’ve worked with clients who run seven-figure businesses that almost nobody in their town has heard of—because they don’t need local recognition to thrive. Their clients know them, refer them, and that’s what matters.
2. The Most Visible Aren’t Always the Most Successful
Some of the most successful business owners I know barely post on social media. They don’t have time—they’re fully booked with clients who pay them well for their expertise. Meanwhile, some of the most visible entrepreneurs are struggling to convert their audience into paying clients.
Visibility can help business growth, absolutely. But visibility alone doesn’t pay the bills or create the freedom you’re working toward.
3. There’s Marketing Value in Awards—But There Are Other Marketing Strategies Too
Let’s be real: winning “Best of” awards can help with marketing. It builds social proof and can attract new clients. I used those awards effectively in my learning center business for years.
But there are many other ways to build credibility that might align better with your personality and business model:
- Client testimonials and case studies
- Specialized certifications
- Thought leadership content
- Strategic partnerships
- Referral systems
You don’t need to force yourself into uncomfortable networking situations or campaign for awards if those strategies don’t feel right to you.
Redefining Success On Your Terms
Here’s what I want you to consider: what if you created your own definition of success that had nothing to do with external validation?
What would that look like for you? Here are some alternative success metrics I’ve seen work for my clients:
- Financial Freedom
- Being able to pay yourself consistently
- Having savings for both business and personal goals
- Creating multiple revenue streams
- Building business assets that could eventually be sold
- Lifestyle Design
- Working hours that respect your energy levels
- Taking vacations without business falling apart
- Having systems that don’t require your constant attention
- Creating boundaries that protect your family time
- Client Impact
- Seeing measurable results for your clients
- Receiving heartfelt messages about your work’s impact
- Building long-term client relationships
- Getting consistent referrals from satisfied clients
- Personal Growth
- Developing new skills and capabilities
- Overcoming business challenges that once seemed impossible
- Building confidence in your decision-making
- Leading your business rather than just working in it
Practical Steps to Build Confidence Without Winning Awards
If you’re struggling with feeling “not enough” because you haven’t received public recognition, here are some practical steps to shift your perspective:
1. Document Your Wins
Start keeping a “wins journal” where you record positive client feedback, financial milestones, problems solved, and personal growth moments. Review it regularly, especially when you’re feeling unseen or unappreciated.
I have a client who reads through her client testimonials every Monday morning to start her week with confidence. Another keeps a spreadsheet tracking revenue growth that she looks at whenever she feels like she’s not making progress.
2. Define Your Own Success Metrics
What actually matters to you? Is it financial independence? Time freedom? Client results? Creative expression? Write down your personal definition of success and the metrics you’ll use to measure it.
One of my clients realized that for her, success meant earning enough to support her family while working just 25 hours a week. Once she hit that goal, external validation became far less important to her.
3. Build a Supportive Community
Find business friends who value what you value. Connect with other entrepreneurs who measure success similarly to you. Having people who understand your goals makes external validation less necessary.
This is exactly why I created the Collective—to build a space where women business owners could connect authentically, without the pressure to perform or impress.
4. Focus on Client-Centered Marketing
Instead of trying to impress industry peers or win awards, focus your marketing efforts on connecting directly with ideal clients. What problems can you solve for them? What results can you help them achieve?
One of my coaching clients completely stopped attending networking events and instead started hosting small workshops for potential clients. Her business grew faster than ever because she was connecting directly with people who needed her services.
5. Celebrate Your Way
Create your own rituals to celebrate business milestones. Don’t wait for someone else to recognize your achievement—acknowledge it yourself in a way that feels meaningful.
I have a client who buys herself a piece of jewelry to mark each $100K milestone in her business. Another takes her team on a special outing when they hit quarterly goals. These personal celebrations can be more meaningful than any public award.
Reminders When You’re Feeling Less Than
Here are some reminders that help pull me back to reality when I start comparing myself to more visible entrepreneurs:
- Success isn’t just about awards—it’s about lasting impact, freedom, and stability.
- Visibility doesn’t always equal value. Followers aren’t always customers.
- You can lead powerfully in your own way without conforming to traditional networking and marketing styles.
I’ve realized that just because my success isn’t loud doesn’t mean it’s any less significant. The businesses I’ve built, the women I’ve empowered, and the lives I’ve changed—that’s my legacy. Not a plaque on a wall.
The Power of Defining Your Own Award
Let’s redefine what it means to be successful together—on our own terms.
What does success mean to you? If you had to give yourself an award, what would it be?
Would it be “Most Improved Systems Builder” or “Best Client Experience Creator” or “Queen of Work-Life Balance”?
Maybe it would be “Business Owner Who Stayed True to Her Values” or “Entrepreneur Who Built a Business While Being Present for Her Family.”
Whatever it is, I encourage you to actually write it down. Create your own award certificate if you want to get creative. Define the category that matters to you, and acknowledge yourself for excelling in it.
Finding Your Path Forward
As women entrepreneurs, we face unique challenges. We often carry more responsibilities at home alongside our business duties. We navigate gender bias and different expectations. And many of us battle with confidence issues stemming from years of socialization that taught us to be humble and not draw attention to ourselves.
These factors can make the pressure for external validation even stronger. We want confirmation that we’re doing it “right,” especially when the path feels uncertain.
But here’s what I know after working with hundreds of women business owners: the most fulfilled entrepreneurs are those who define success on their own terms.
They build businesses that reflect their values, play to their strengths, and accommodate their personal needs. They measure progress against their own goals, not someone else’s highlight reel on social media.
And most importantly, they trust that their work speaks for itself through the results they create for clients and the life they build for themselves.
Your Next Steps
If you’re struggling with feeling unseen or unrecognized in your business, I encourage you to:
- Take time to define what success really means to you
- Create personal metrics to track progress toward YOUR goals
- Build connections with others who share your values
- Focus on the clients who already see and appreciate your value
- Celebrate your achievements, even if no one else does
Remember, you get to write your own success story. Make it one that feels authentic and fulfilling to you—not one designed to impress others.
What would change in your business if you stopped chasing external validation and started focusing exclusively on what truly matters to you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What does success look like for you? And if you had to give yourself an award, what would it be?
If you found this post helpful and want to continue the conversation, join us in the Leading Lady Facebook Group. We’re a community of women entrepreneurs supporting each other on our unique paths to success.
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April 2025 – The Feather Report – A Leading Lady Collective Newsletter