I recently had a heart-to-heart with a client who was completely depleted. The holiday season had ramped up the pressure at her job, and when I asked what brought her joy outside of work, she went silent. She could list a dozen ways she created joyful moments for her kids, her spouse, her friends—but when it came to herself? Nothing.
You know that feeling when you realize you’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else that you’ve forgotten what actually lights you up?
Here’s the thing: this isn’t unusual for high-achieving women. We become masters at orchestrating joy for others while running on empty ourselves. But joy isn’t a luxury—it’s the fuel that keeps us going without burning out.
Why Finding Joy Each Day Feels So Hard
Let me tell you something that might surprise you: Your brain is actually working against you when it comes to noticing joy.
Researchers call this the “negativity bias”—our brains evolved to scan for threats rather than count blessings. This kept our ancestors alive when danger lurked around every corner, but today? It means we’re wired to remember the one criticism in a sea of compliments, the one thing that went wrong in an otherwise beautiful day.
Brené Brown puts it beautifully in The Gifts of Imperfection: “Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments—often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down extraordinary moments.”
And that’s exactly where we get stuck. We think joy should arrive with fireworks and fanfare—the big promotion, the dream vacation, the perfect day. But real, sustainable joy is hiding in the quiet moments we rush past.
Joy vs. Happiness: What’s the Difference?
I actually prefer talking about joy rather than happiness, and here’s why.
Happiness tends to be reactive—it depends on what’s happening around us. When you get good news, you feel happy. Something goes wrong, happiness disappears.
Joy runs deeper. It’s more like a state of being than a fleeting emotion. When you’re connected to joy, you can still experience it even during difficult seasons. It’s the sense of “this is hard, but I’m okay” that carries you through.
As Marianne Williamson wrote, “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to realize how good things really are.”
The key word there is allow. We have to give ourselves permission to notice the good, even when everything isn’t perfect.
A Simple Exercise to Find Joy Through Your Five Senses
Here’s something I use with clients (and myself) when stress threatens to steal all the joy from our days. I call it the Five Senses Grounding Exercise, and it takes less than five minutes.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected, pause and work through each sense:
- Sight: Look around and find something that brings you visual joy. Maybe it’s the plant on your desk, a photo of your family, or simply the way sunlight is falling through the window. Actually see it.
- Touch: Focus on something comforting you can feel. The soft texture of your sweater, your hands wrapped around a warm mug, your pet’s fur. Let yourself appreciate that sensation.
- Smell: What scents are around you? Fresh coffee, a favorite candle, the clean smell of rain? Smell is one of the strongest triggers for positive emotions—use it.
- Taste: Savor something. Even if it’s just water, take a moment to really taste it. When you eat your next meal, slow down and enjoy the flavors instead of rushing through.
- Hearing: What sounds bring you peace? Birds outside, music playing softly, your child’s laughter in the other room? Let yourself really listen.
This exercise pulls you back into the present moment—which is the only place joy actually exists. You can’t find joy in yesterday’s stress or tomorrow’s worries. Only right here, right now.
5 Daily Practices to Discover More Joy
Ready to weave more joy into your everyday life? Here’s what works for me:
1. Start Your Morning with Intention
Before the chaos begins, create a small ritual that’s just for you. For me, it’s those quiet moments with my coffee before anyone else wakes up. For you, it might be five minutes of journaling, a few stretches, or simply sitting in silence.
This isn’t about adding more to your to-do list—it’s about claiming something that fills your cup before the day starts draining it.
2. Practice Gratitude (Without Toxic Positivity)
I’m not asking you to pretend everything is wonderful when it’s not. That’s not gratitude—that’s denial.
Real gratitude means acknowledging what’s genuinely good alongside what’s hard. Try this: each evening, name three small things that went well. Not earth-shattering victories—just small moments. The parking spot you found. The client who said thank you. The dinner that actually turned out.
Over time, this trains your brain to notice more good, counteracting that negativity bias we talked about.
3. Don’t Just Wait for Joyful Moments, Create Them
You know what activities fill your cup. When was the last time you actually did them?
Make a “joy list”—the small things that make you genuinely happy. Reading before bed. Walking outside. Calling that friend who always makes you laugh. Cooking something new. Then schedule them like you would any important meeting.
Joy doesn’t just happen to us. Sometimes we have to create it.
4. Use the Five Senses Grounding Technique
Make the exercise I shared earlier a habit. Use it when you’re stuck in traffic, waiting in line, or feeling the weight of your to-do list pressing down.
It takes sixty seconds to reconnect with the present moment. Sixty seconds to remind yourself that right now, in this moment, something is okay.
5. Share Your Joy with Others
Here’s something beautiful about joy: it multiplies when shared.
When something delights you, tell someone. When you notice a colleague’s win, celebrate it with them. When you’re with your family, put down your phone and actually be there.
We weren’t meant to carry joy alone. The women in our lives—our friends, our communities, our fellow entrepreneurs—they need to see us practicing joy, not just productivity.
Finding Joy as a Busy Woman Entrepreneur
Look, I get it. You’re building something. You’re juggling a thousand responsibilities. The idea of “finding joy” might feel like one more thing on an already overwhelming list.
But here’s what I’ve learned from working with ambitious women like you: joy isn’t the reward you get after you’ve achieved everything. It’s the fuel that gets you there without losing yourself along the way.
You can be driven and joyful. You can be building something incredible and present for the small moments. Those things aren’t opposites—they’re partners.
So today, I want you to try something. Pick just one practice from this post. Maybe it’s the five senses exercise. Maybe it’s starting a joy list. Maybe it’s simply pausing to notice one good thing.
Start there. Let it be small. Let it be imperfect.
Joy doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be chosen.
Ready to Bring More Joy Into Your Everyday Life?
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Okay, I need to get intentional about actually noticing the good stuff,” I’ve got a few places to start.
My free Strategic Planning Wheel is a simple tool that helps you take a bird’s-eye view of your whole life—not just your business. It’s a great way to see where you’re thriving, where you’re running on empty, and where you might need to create more space for joy. Sometimes just getting it all on paper is enough to spark a real shift.
And if today’s conversation resonated with you—if you’re craving connection with women who actually get what it’s like to build something while trying not to lose yourself in the process—come join us in the Leading Ladies Facebook group. Almost 7,000 women showing up for each other, sharing wins and struggles, no judgment. Just real talk about building businesses and lives that feel as good as they look.
Want to go deeper? The Hub is my virtual membership for women entrepreneurs who are ready for ongoing support, weekly coaching calls, and a community that will challenge you and cheer you on. Because here’s what I know for sure: you weren’t meant to do this alone—and joy is so much sweeter when it’s shared.
