249: Behind the Scenes of a Collaborative Book: Advice from the Authors of We Lead: Volume 2 (Part 2)

Hi there. You’re listening to the Leading Lady podcast. I’m your host, AliceAnne Loftus, and I’m a certified professional coach specializing in leadership and work-life balance. I work with clients to shift their limiting beliefs, insecurities, and self-doubt. This podcast will be filled with tools and strategies to help high-achieving women like you feel connected, empowered, and in the lead of your life, both personally and professionally. Let’s transform your life starting now. Lead yourself, the rest will follow.

AliceAnne: Hi there, leading ladies, and welcome to today’s episode. We’re doing another episode where I am featuring a few authors from We Lead: Volume 2, and today I’m joined by El Lunay, Erin Harrigan, Julie Blamphin, and Gala McCray. So excited to talk to them and learn more about their chapters and their experience with writing We Lead.

Ladies, thank you so much for being here.

Erin: Thanks for having us.

Julie: Thank you.

El: Thank you.

Meet the Authors

AliceAnne: Before we jump into the questions, I wanted to just have you introduce yourselves, tell our listeners what chapter you are, the title of your chapter, and just a little snippet of who you are. Erin, let’s start with you.

Erin: Sure. So my name is Erin Harrigan. I am a Christian business coach to high-achieving women in business and the boardroom. My chapter is Chapter 8, and it’s “What I Wish I Knew Sooner: How to Navigate Personal Growth and Friendships,” based on some very recent experiences that I’ve had with both a long-term friendship and other business partners who turned into friends, and how that can go in a different direction than you planned as you grow in your business.

AliceAnne: So good. Thank you. Julie.

Julie: Thanks for having me. This is Julie Blamphin with Stretch Your Spirit. My chapter is Chapter 11, “Ignite Your Body, Ignite Your Business: Radical Self-Care to Catapult Your Career.” I am super excited to be in this book. I am so proud of this chapter, and I am really looking forward to hopefully getting some feedback that there’s been some impact from my chapter.

AliceAnne: Oh, I love it. I’m sure there has. I know it greatly impacted me, and this is the second book you’ve been in with me. And I feel like every time I read the chapters, I get to know everybody just a little bit more, and there’s a deeper impact for me. So I can’t speak for everyone, but selfishly, I know that I’m always learning and growing from reading what you all submit.

Gala.

Gala: Hello, everyone. My name is Gala McCray. I wrote Chapter 17, “The Art of Bookkeeping: Consistency, Comfort and Confidence in Your Numbers.” I am a bookkeeper. I work on empowering service professionals with strategic financial insights, and the consistency, clarity, and confidence that comes from doing all of those things is what I like to focus on.

AliceAnne: Thanks, Gala. And last but not least, El Lunay.

El: Hello. Thanks for having me. I am El Lunay, and I own HERE. A pop-up shop, which is a boutique in Annapolis featuring all local artists and makers. And my chapter is number 6, “Thriving in Life and Business: The Keys of Kindness, Collaboration, and Community,” which I think goes really well with this book.

AliceAnne: It sure does. There might have been a reason why you were asked to participate.

How the Book Reinforced Community and Leadership

AliceAnne: Well, ladies, I have a couple questions that I’d love to go through today. So I’m just gonna kick it off with the first question. How did being part of this book reinforce the importance of community and leadership for you? I’ll start with you, Erin.

Erin: Reinforcing that community was twofold. One is knowing that I was surrounded by these other incredible contributors to the book, these other authors. I’ve authored other things, and so sometimes I think when you’ve done that, or you’ve done anything a number of times, it can feel old hat. But there’s such an excitement, sometimes some nervousness, when there are new authors involved. And so walking through this process with all of them was such a beautiful experience.

The second thing that I realized in the midst of writing my chapter was how we have to really be conscious of and discerning in the communities in which we put ourselves. Because one of the stories that I share is about a community that I was part of in business that did not turn out to be what I thought it was. And so writing about that just reinforced for me all of the things that are so beautiful about having the right community surrounding you. And I mean, not to brag, but the Leading Lady community is pretty stinking awesome, so.

AliceAnne: I think so.

Erin: That contrast to the community that I experienced in my story was eye-opening.

AliceAnne: Oh, that’s powerful, Erin. How about you, Julie?

Julie: Well, honestly, the obvious being that we’re in a collaborative book, community and leadership. I mean, this is just such a powerful experience, being in a collaborative book, being a featured author, and this is my fourth one, and it’s so absolutely badass to be a part of it.

And that being said, my chapter specifically is talking about being a leader in your own community. It’s talking about how you can focus on your body as well as focusing on your career, and in fact, then taking that information that you’re gleaning once you start really connecting with your body and recognizing the benefits that that brings to your career, and sharing that in your own community of women. So that question is just right on point. Great question, AliceAnne.

AliceAnne: Thanks, Julie. Gala.

Gala: So when it comes to community, one of the things that sorta has been almost like the fight song going into my 40s is finding where you belong and being comfortable where you belong. There are so many things about being a part of this community that have challenged me and helped me to step into the leader that I know that I am, but it also encouraged me to speak out and lean into thought leadership.

That’s something that we’ve been talking about here recently, but leaning into thought leadership in a way that’s authentic to me. We all have something that’s very important to say and to share, and that someone out there needs to hear. Being able to share my perspective and lean in to the leadership that is within me, and walking in it, has been so powerful for me. Sharing the story from my perspective and sharing how becoming consistent has been so important to me, to get me where I am, and is leading me into where I’m going as well.

AliceAnne: Yeah, and what a powerful statement, Gala, that we never know who in our community needs to hear or see things from our perspective. We might have a perspective that shines a light for them, or illuminates a blind spot, or helps shift their perspective. I just love that you touched on that, and I can see it. I can see the confidence that you’re having just stepping into that voice. El?

El: Yeah. Obviously, I talked in my chapter about community and collaboration, so this seemed like a no-brainer. But Erin mentioned being nervous going into a new community, and because I’d never written anything to be published before, that was definitely a concern of mine. But this community…

AliceAnne: Congratulations, by the way.

El: Thank you. This community of women and leaders really not only made it super fun, but kind of easy, because I could look to them and how they were sharing their stories, and how they were supportive of each and every one of us, each other. Of course, you always have been, AliceAnne, through our long-term friendship and relationship through business.

AliceAnne: Yeah. No, I know. It just all comes together so beautifully.

El: Right, it does. But what I also wanted to say, in terms of collaboration, through this group of other authors in the book, so many connections have been made. I’m going to carry some of the other books that these women have written in the shop. I hope to work with Gala on my accounting, and I connected Megan Vaughn from the cheese shop with a local woman who makes charcuterie boards. And that’s always something that happens in the pop-up shop: connections. And not only was I connected to all these other people, but I’ve already made connections to others, and that always just really fills me up.

AliceAnne: You are the superior connector, by the way. I love it. I’m always like, when I’m out in the community, “Do you know El Lunay? You should know El Lunay, because she could connect you…” It’s like the six degrees to Kevin Bacon. It’s the four degrees to El Lunay.

El: True. Yes.

What Readers Can Take Away

AliceAnne: Okay, so the next question, ladies, that I have for you is, what are you hoping that readers and leaders, ‘cause leaders are readers, what are you hoping that readers take away from your chapter? Erin, I’ll start back with you.

Erin: So the impetus of my chapter was that I don’t see a lot of conversation in the world about female friendships. I start my chapter by saying, “Look at social media, and you’ll see the perfect curated photo of the women with their arms around each other, and they always have cute little hats. This is what friendship looks like,” right? And that, in the time that I was preparing to write this, was not my experience, because a 34-year friendship seemed to disappear completely unexpectedly for me.

And it wasn’t just a friendship. I mean, this is a woman who was the godmother to my oldest daughter. This is a woman who was my travel buddy in all things. And there were many reasons that that happened, but one of the reasons was very much about how we grow, right? And so I don’t see a lot of conversation about that.

My prayer for readers is that this gives them some respite, like, “Oh my gosh, I’m not alone, and I have been hanging back and shrinking back because in my business I’ve been going through personal growth, but my friends don’t get it.” And it’s okay that they don’t get it. My prayer is that they understand that they are meant to grow, and that we all grow differently.

And it’s such an opportunity to really evaluate, is this a friendship for a reason, a season, or a lifetime? I didn’t see those kinds of conversations happening, and I wanted to bring it to light, and it was quite a healing chapter for me as well. So that’s what I hope that readers will see in it, that they’ll see themselves in it, and they’ll breathe a sigh of relief and know that it’s okay.

AliceAnne: And we don’t all grow at the same time or speed as people around us. And sometimes recognizing that… I don’t know, I’ve held onto things much longer than I probably should have, because I just didn’t know what it would look like to let go. And then I’ve let go and made space, and beautiful people have filled that space. So thanks for bringing that topic to light.

Erin: Right. Yeah.

AliceAnne: Julie Blamphin, what are you hoping that the readers will take away from your chapter?

Julie: Oh, so much. I am hoping that the readers are going to take away a bit of comfort knowing that connecting with themselves and with their body in maybe new and interesting ways is easier than they think.

Being a yoga teacher for so many years, and a retreat leader, I have these conversations with women, because most of the women who are working with me, and the women in my community, are high-achieving, a lot of them business owners. And they focus so strongly on their business, understandably so, so do I. And maybe even they’re running a household and raising a family, and kids have to go here and there, and partners and all the things.

But in this chapter, I’m hoping that you recognize how important it is to take these small moments. They don’t need to be huge moments. Sometimes they’re just small moments with just you, and recognize how you can up-level your body and your wellness, as well as up-leveling your business and your career. It can be really simple, and that’s what I hope readers are gonna take from my chapter.

AliceAnne: Yeah. I mean, I’d even argue that you can’t up-level your career and your business if you’re not building in that time to take care of you, at least not sustainably.

Julie: Yeah, a thousand percent. ‘Cause overwhelm and burnout, that’s all a real thing. It’s not just a cliche word. It’s not just a trending thing. It is something that we just don’t wanna get to. We don’t wanna get there, and we don’t wanna get there more than once. But so many women are telling me that they get there more than once, and then they feel like they have to start over, or they have to do things totally differently, or they have to do more.

And I’m here to say that it’s within you. It’s within your time. It’s within your calendar. These are techniques that you can practice, and they’re simple. That doesn’t mean they’re easy. What makes it so difficult is to just practice. But they’re practices, and they can be done, so there’s hope.

AliceAnne: Thank you, Julie. Gala, what are you hoping readers take away from your chapter?

Gala: Well, one of the things that I hope that readers take away from my chapter is sort of what I took away in writing the chapter. Sometimes there’s gonna be curve balls in life, in business, whatever the course may be, but having a standard and something that you can consistently come back to is going to be helpful with getting comfortable going through whatever it is and reaching the goals and the things that you have going on.

Something that I said in the book was, “Leading in life doesn’t get easier. We’re just gonna get better at it as we continue to go through.” With every day and every sort of existential crisis that we go through, it’s not gonna get easier, but it’s okay. We’re able to get through. We’re able to continue going.

And sometimes it’s just getting started in whatever our goals are, or wherever we’re trying to go, or wherever we’re trying to take that next relationship, whether it’s a friendship, a business relationship, or whatever. But finding the things that we can be consistent at, or that can get us started, eventually we’re gonna create some muscle memory and be able to move forward past the humps and bumps and things that come along the way.

AliceAnne: Yeah. So good. So good. El?

El: Yes. I think it’s pretty obvious, if you have a retail shop, it’s very important to be genuine, inviting, inclusive, friendly. But I think these kind of tips that I’m gonna share really could be used in any business, and should be used in any business, as well as in life.

And I try to genuinely be who I am wherever I am, and that also sometimes isn’t easy, but it’s definitely important. I think giving grace to people, you never know what they’ve gone through in that day, and really living in that. And then over the years I’ve taught myself to give myself grace, which was a harder thing for me to learn how to do.

AliceAnne: Oh, I was gonna say, isn’t it harder to give ourselves grace?

El: Yes. Really focusing on your community and collaborating with your neighbors. I don’t believe in direct competition. There’s room for other boutiques, there’s room for other pop-ups. In general, that can be across any business. We can work together, lift each other up, support each other, that type of thing.

And then what I share in my chapter is how I never really expected that my kindness, my grace, and my support of other people would come back to me tenfold through my shop community and the community that I built around it when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Everybody showed up in so many different ways that I never would’ve expected, and I can’t even share how that helped, how that served me, how that really impacted me.

And now I’m continuing to keep it going, and I’m supporting others as they’re diagnosed. They feel open to come to me because I’ve been so open about sharing my story. I wanna make sure that other women and men and anybody are taking care, like we’ve all talked about. Like Julie talked about, self-care and how important it is to schedule those appointments. And so anyway, it kinda goes full circle, and that’s how thriving in life and business is starting with that kindness factor. And grace, I think, is a big, important word.

AliceAnne: Yeah. So good. And what a beautiful sentiment, too, El. I’ve known you forever, and you really do show up just so kind and so welcoming. Of course your community showed up for you. Of course your community showed up for you. And obviously you didn’t do that because you expected anything back from them, but of course they showed up for you, because you really have shown up for the community for so long. And just, of course.

El: Thank you.

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Hi, Leading Lady podcast listeners. This is Maria, a licensed mental health therapist and the founder of The Coaching Therapist LLC. I specialize in helping people prioritize their emotional wellness by sharing tools through training, workshops, and consultation. My mission is to make these tools accessible to all. You can connect with me on my website, thecoachingtherapist.com, or my Instagram, coaching_therapist.

The Most Challenging and Most Rewarding Parts of Writing

AliceAnne: Okay, Erin, what was the most challenging and most rewarding part of writing this chapter for you?

Erin: The most challenging part of writing this chapter for me was coming face to face with the things that I did wrong in the friendship. And in fact, I gave this chapter to my daughter to read, my older daughter, because it was about her godmother, and at the time her godmother was battling brain cancer. Unfortunately, she did pass away earlier this year, and I wanted my daughter to see the full story.

And in doing that, I had to realize my part. And there were things that she questioned me about. “Did you really say that?” and “Did this really happen?” A lot of that detail is not in the story itself. So that was very challenging. It was challenging to write about a friendship that I had learned to let go of, but that person wasn’t gone.

And I would say on the opposite side of it, there were two very rewarding pieces. One was, there’s a line in the chapter where I say, “Don’t hold onto what God has told you to let go of,” because I held onto these friendships and these situations far beyond. So that was very rewarding, because I thought, “Okay, Lord, you’re talking to me.”

And then, as sad as it was to say goodbye to my former friend in January, the rewarding part of this chapter is that it helped me heal enough to be grateful for the friendship and to have processed that. So when it came time for the funeral and the viewing and all of these things, of course it hurt. Please hear me. But it wasn’t the depth of pain and sorrow that it definitely would’ve been if I hadn’t written about it.

AliceAnne: That’s beautiful and so vulnerable to share. Thank you, Erin.

Erin: Yeah.

AliceAnne: Julie, most challenging, most rewarding.

Julie: The most challenging part of this chapter, the most challenging part of the process of writing this chapter, I’ll say, was recognizing that, yes, I’m actually putting some of this on the page. I’m actually sharing this story. Okay, fine, I’ll share. I mean, I am quite private, and yet I have found in the last probably less than 10 years how powerful and impactful it is for women to hear some of these vulnerable moments in life. And as challenging as that is, that was the best part. It was the hardest, but it was the best part.

I mean, the best part of having fear is just going balls out and just doing it anyway, right? When you are feeling that fear, and you step in, you lean in, and you give it and you go there, you’re like, “Damn, I just did that,” and that feels really freaking great.

So I’m really proud of this chapter, I’m proud of the story that I’ve told, and I look forward to saying yes on any other project you ask me to do, AliceAnne. Damn, it’s gonna be hard.

AliceAnne: Well, now that you mention it, we might have a third book coming down the line.

Julie: I know, I know. My gosh, I’m already losing sleep. No, actually, I’m excited for it. But I mean, that’s the point, right? This is the point. We get to these moments where we’re like, “Oh, do I really wanna share that?” And you know what? I really do.

AliceAnne: Thank you. I’m glad you do. I’m glad you did it. And of course the most rewarding part is overcoming the challenging part, so thank you. Gala, same question. What was the hardest, most challenging, and what was the most rewarding?

Gala: I would say the hardest and most challenging part was recognizing… Well, let me start by saying this. Bookkeeping and dealing with people’s finances is very vulnerable. It’s not a space that everyone is comfortable letting someone else into. And knowing that, and writing this chapter as a leader in that area, I needed to get vulnerable.

So last year was a major vulnerable time in my life, and writing the chapter itself was very therapeutic for me. But then once the pencil is down and we’re moving forward, it’s like, oh my gosh, I’ve been more vulnerable in this chapter than I’ve been with some of the closest people in my life.

So that part was the hardest, most challenging, but I would say it’s also the most rewarding, because I want to work with people, and I want to empower people to step outside of that vulnerability, to walk through that, to get to the place where they can be encouraged and empowered and do mighty things by walking through that vulnerability. So walking through it myself and outpouring in the chapter led me to where I want other people to be. So I guess leading by example, right?

El: Yeah, that’s great.

AliceAnne: Yes, I love that. And as you were talking, I’m like, “Oh yeah, I remember that.” The first time I published, I’m like, “Okay, well that was equivalent to getting naked and walking outside.” It’s scary. It’s scary. It’s one thing to write, and then it’s another thing to know that the world is gonna read it, right? Even our little world. It’s pretty incredible. So you’re right, we have to lead by example. El?

El: Well, the first challenging thing was actually considering myself an author, and writing something in a way that can be read. So I really appreciate the opportunity, and how Laura Di Franco and you really explained and guided me through, all of us through that, and that was super helpful.

And then, we’ve all talked about vulnerability a bit, and yes, I am a very kind person, but I’m human. And putting those words down on paper, that in some instances I was unkind in response to something that happened to me, was very hard. That was a very vulnerable moment for me, because it’s not in my makeup to be that way, but it’s true. And another side of what I wanna share is how it’s important to be genuine.

So that was challenging, I think, and just getting it all out, hoping that people would wanna read it, that it makes sense, that it comes back around. I kinda got stuck in there, like, where is this going? And what are my giveaways at the end? And sometimes those giveaways, I felt like they were so innate, like everybody knows this. But the reality is we all need to be reminded of certain things.

AliceAnne: Yeah. And everybody doesn’t know it. Everybody doesn’t know it.

El: Right. Or if they do, they get caught up because life is busy and life is hard, and so many other things are happening. I love reading something where I’m like, “I knew this, but I’m reading it by somebody else. I remember to do that,” or, “I am doing that, and now I feel really good about it.”

And then the reward is just really meeting so many amazing people, and all the friendships that have grown out of the collaboration of this book, and the extension from it as well. I’ve had people buy the book that I don’t know and reach out, not necessarily about my chapter, but about how it’s really affected them or helped them. And to me, that was just amazing.

AliceAnne: Oh, love it. Love it, love it, love it. And yes, you’re right. You put something on paper, and then you’re like, “But what if I’m not always that way? What if I’m not always kind? I just put this in a book, and I’m not that 100% of the time.” Well, congratulations, El. You are human. We are human. And just give yourself grace.

El: Yes.

Parting Words from the Authors

AliceAnne: So ladies, as we wrap up today’s episode, I wanna give you an opportunity. If there are any parting words that you have for our listeners, about your chapter, about the book, or about anything, what would you like to share? I’ll start with you, Erin.

Erin: I love what you said, El. These are things that we think people know, but we need to be reminded of them. So my parting words are, don’t keep holding onto something that is not serving you, especially if you’re a follower of Christ like I am. I know He’s told me to let go of things that I’ve held onto. Don’t do that. Don’t do that.

Julie: Don’t do that.

Erin: Please don’t do that.

AliceAnne: There you go. Julie?

Julie: My parting words are, you are the most important thing in your business.

AliceAnne: Can you say that louder for those in the back?

Julie: You are the most important thing in your business. You are the most important thing in your success, in your story, in your career, in your financial P&L, all of the things that we need to consider. You’re the most important thing in your marketing, in everything. Your body, mind, spirit, you need to keep practicing and recognizing that you’re worth it.

AliceAnne: So true, Julie. Thank you. Gala, what do you got to say?

Gala: When things get tough, when there’s uncertainty there, consistency is gonna help bridge the gap.

AliceAnne: Powerful. Rely on your systems. Go back to being consistent. That was so simple and powerful. How about you, El?

El: How important it is to support the community that supports you. Shop local, eat local, attend local events. No matter where you are, whatever your community is, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it.

AliceAnne: These are really profound statements that we would think everybody would know. And we all need reminders. It’s very validating. Ladies, thank you so much for joining me today for this interview. Thank you for contributing your stories and your vulnerabilities to the book We Lead, Volume 1 and Volume 2. And just thanks for showing up for yourselves, for each other, and for the community.

Until next time, take the lead.

Thanks for tuning in for another episode of the Leading Lady podcast. You can find all of the links and information mentioned in this episode at www.leadinglady-coaching.com. If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to follow the show so you don’t miss any future episodes. And while you’re there, it would mean the world to me if you would take a few seconds and leave me an honest review. This will allow me to be able to help other high-achieving women find inspiration, connection, and develop strategies to live and lead with purpose and intention. See you here next week.