We’ve all fallen into the comparison trap at some point. You’re scrolling through social media, and suddenly, you’re caught in a web of “shoulds.” You should be doing this; you should be doing that. It sneaks up on you and makes you question why your business isn’t growing like someone else’s. Before you know it, you’re deeply entangled in that comparison trap, and let me tell you, it’s no fun. That’s probably why they say, “Comparison is the thief of joy!”
I recently had a moment that made me realize just how sneaky the comparison trap can be, even for someone like me who coaches others on avoiding this very pitfall. Let me share that story with you, and let’s talk about how we can break free from the comparison trap and embrace our authentic selves in business.
My Personal Struggle with the Comparison Trap
I recently had lunch with Leading Lady Ambassador Mauren Porto, and our discussion really brought home just how insidious the comparison trap can be. During our lunch, I confessed that I was feeling bad about not attending many local business events or networking functions. I felt like I should be more visible in the community, more social, more “out there.” But the truth is, I’m an extreme introvert. After working all day, I’m often tired and just want to be at home, on my sofa, watching a movie, in my jammies, with my dog.
I found myself caught in the comparison trap, thinking people might judge me for not being more visible. But Maureen said, “You are not that girl. And that’s okay.” She reminded me that my word of the year is “gentle,” and that I shouldn’t force myself to be something I’m not. This was a powerful reminder to step out of the comparison trap.
By trying to keep up with what everyone else was doing, I would have been exhausted and not showing up as my best self. Instead, by embracing my introverted nature and being selective about my commitments, I can be fully present and give my all when I do engage.
Is Social Media the Thief of Joy?
Social media is a double-edged sword, isn’t it? On one hand, it’s a great tool for learning, connecting, and growing our businesses. On the other hand, it’s all too easy to fall into the comparison trap when we’re constantly exposed to highlight reels of others’ successes.
One thing to always keep in mind when it comes to social media is that everyone can curate what they share. Many people won’t share their struggles, but rather, they only share their wins. That can make it look like they only have success.
What we see on social media often looks easy. We might think, “Oh, I could launch a digital course,” or “I should be creating speaker reels,” or “I need to be writing a million blog posts.” But the reality is that creating quality content and “doing all the things” isn’t as simple as it looks. The comparison trap tricks us into thinking everyone else has it figured out when, in truth, we’re all learning as we go.
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How to Break Free from the Comparison Trap
So, how can we shake off the “shoulds” and escape the comparison trap to embrace our authentic selves in business? Here are a few strategies I’ve found helpful:
- Ground yourself in your values: Remember what’s truly important to you and your business. Don’t let the comparison trap sway you from your core values.
- Recognize your strengths: Focus on what you do well rather than letting the comparison trap push you to mimic others’ success strategies.
- Be deliberate about how you show up: Choose the platforms and methods that feel authentic to you, not just what’s trending or what the comparison trap tells you you should be doing.
- Surround yourself with supportive people: Find friends and colleagues who will remind you of your unique value when the comparison trap starts to creep in.
- Use social media mindfully: Be aware of how it affects you and fuels the comparison trap. Take breaks when needed. And remember that what people share on social media isn’t the whole story.
- Celebrate others’ successes: Instead of letting the comparison trap make you feel threatened, genuinely celebrate when other women in business do well. Their success doesn’t diminish yours.
- Celebrate your success: I just talked about this in last week’s blog. Instead of comparing yourself to others and how successful they are, take the time to celebrate your own success.
- Focus on your unique journey: Remember, what works for someone else might not work for you – and that’s okay! The comparison trap often ignores the unique aspects of each person’s situation.
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The Power of Authenticity in Business
Here’s a truth bomb for you: If we’re so busy trying to be like everyone else because of the comparison trap, the people who really need our unique gifts and strengths might not be able to find us. By being authentic and resisting the comparison trap, we attract the right people who resonate with who we truly are.
Think about it this way: Your authenticity is like a beacon. When you shine it brightly, without dimming it to fit into someone else’s mold, you guide your ideal clients right to you. These are the people who will benefit most from what you have to offer and who will appreciate your unique approach and perspective.
For example, the people who find me probably love that I’m an introverted person. They appreciate that my events are small and that I’m not about small talk but rather diving deep into meaningful conversations. By being comfortable in my authenticity and not falling into the comparison trap, I attract people who see and value the real me.
This authenticity extends to every aspect of my business. My coaching style, my content, even the way I structure my days – it’s all aligned with who I truly am. And you know what? It works. My clients often tell me they chose to work with me because they felt a genuine connection, not because I was trying to be like every other coach out there.
Embrace Your Authentic Self
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to business success. What works for an extroverted, high-energy entrepreneur might not work for someone who’s more introverted and reflective. And that’s okay! In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s essential. Your unique approach is what sets you apart in a crowded marketplace.
When you embrace your authentic self in business, you’re not just being true to yourself. You’re also creating a more sustainable and fulfilling business model. You’re playing to your strengths, working in a way that energizes rather than depletes you, and connecting with clients who truly appreciate what you bring to the table.
So, the next time you feel the comparison trap creeping in, remember this: Your uniqueness is not a weakness to be overcome. It’s a strength to be embraced. It’s what will attract the right people to your business and help you create the success that’s meant for you.
Your Invitation to Authenticity
As we move toward the end of the year, I want to invite you to step away from the comparison trap. Instead of looking at what others are doing and feeling like you should be doing the same, ask yourself:
- What feels good to you?
- What do you want your life and business to look and feel like?
- How can you align your business practices with your core values without falling into the comparison trap?
Remember, you’ll be most successful when you work in a way that aligns with what’s important to you and what feels best to you. Your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s to be valid and successful. Don’t let the comparison trap tell you otherwise.
Conclusion
Let’s make a pact to leave the comparison trap behind and finish this year as our unique, authentic, imperfect selves. Trust that by being true to who you are, you’ll attract the people and opportunities that are meant for you.
If you’re struggling with the comparison trap and want to chat more about finding your authentic self in business, I’m here for you. Consider booking a complimentary coaching call with me. We can discuss ways you get stuck in the comparison trap, explore your core values, and find strategies for you to show up authentically in a way that feels good to you.
Remember, your uniqueness is your superpower in business. Embrace it, celebrate it, and watch how it transforms your entrepreneurial journey. You’ve got this! Don’t let the comparison trap hold you back from your true potential.
Join the Leading Lady Community
For more insights and strategies on leading a fulfilling life, both personally and professionally, I invite you to join my community:
- Tune into the Leading Lady Podcast.
- Connect with me on Instagram.
- Join the conversation in the Leading Ladies Facebook Group.
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