I’m so excited to share some wisdom from Leading Lady Ambassador Tara De Leon today. You know how we’re always talking about finding balance without burning out? Well, Tara gets it. She helps women feel badass and confident by teaching them to lift weights, take up space, and stop apologizing for their bodies. As a weight-neutral personal trainer working with clients in Annapolis and virtually worldwide, she knows what it’s like to live in that constant “go-go-go” mode. In this post, she’s sharing her expert insight on progressive relaxation – and trust me, if you’re feeling stuck in panic mode (and honestly, who isn’t these days?), you’re going to want to read this.
If you’re anything like me, your calendar is jam-packed with everything except time for yourself. Between work, family, and trying to survive, the idea of “self-care” often feels laughable, or at best, aspirational. But here’s the thing: your nervous system is not impressed by your hustle. It wants a break.
Enter: progressive relaxation.
I know, it sounds fancy. Maybe even a little boring. But I’m telling you—this one technique can change the game for your physical health, your mental sanity, and even your sleep. And the best part? It’s free, simple, and can be done lying down. (You’re already sold, aren’t you?)
What is Progressive Relaxation?
Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), sometimes just called progressive relaxation, is a technique where you slowly tense and then release each muscle group in your body, one at a time. The idea is to bring awareness to areas of tension, help you actually feel what relaxation is, and teach your brain and body how to chill out on command. Many of us are so tense that you don’t even need to tense up your muscles first; you can just focus on the relaxation part.
Think of it as physical meditation for people who hate meditation.
How Does It Work?
Progressive relaxation targets the autonomic nervous system, which controls your stress response (hello, fight-or-flight). By activating the opposite response—the relaxation response—PMR helps reduce heart rate, lower blood pressure, and shift your body out of panic mode. I don’t know about you, but I feel like I am in panic mode for a good portion of my day. Running here, racing there, don’t forget this, make sure you do that…it’s exhausting.
When you tense a muscle, you’re drawing attention to it. When you release it, you signal safety. Do that through your whole body, and your brain starts to get the message: we’re not in danger. We’re safe. We can relax now. Nervous system, reset!
Who Should Do It?
Short answer? Everyone with a nervous system.
Longer answer?
- Busy professionals who feel like their brains are always on
- Parents who haven’t peed alone in 3 years
- Athletes dealing with performance anxiety
- People with chronic pain, migraines, or insomnia
- Literally anyone who’s ever found themselves doom-scrolling at midnight
Let’s talk Benefits
Here’s what you can expect when you start doing progressive relaxation regularly—and I’m not talking about some vague “you’ll feel better” promises. I’m talking about real, tangible changes that you’ll actually notice in your day-to-day life.
- Better Sleep: Progressive relaxation helps quiet your mind and calm your body- two things insomnia hates. A lot of people I work with say they fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer after just a few sessions. (It’s basically melatonin without the weird dreams.)
- Reduced Anxiety and Stress: Tense muscles, racing heart, tight chest? That’s your body in fight-or-flight mode. PMR helps flip the switch to rest-and-digest. Over time, it trains your body to calm down faster, even in stressful situations. Think of it as emotional resilience training… but in a Snuggie.
- Lower Blood Pressure and Heart Rate: If your body lives in stress mode, your heart is working overtime. Regular progressive relaxation gives your cardiovascular system a break—and research backs that up. This isn’t woo; it’s physiology.
- Pain Relief: When your body is tense, pain feels worse. When your muscles can finally release, pain levels often decrease. PMR is especially helpful for folks with tension headaches, TMJ, fibromyalgia, or back pain.
- Improved Body Awareness: Many of us are so used to carrying tension that we don’t even notice it anymore. (Is your jaw clenched right now? Are you wearing your shoulders like they are earrings? Exactly. Now take a breath, reset yourself, and let’s dive back in.) PMR helps you tune in to where you’re holding stress so you can release it on purpose.
How Long Does it Take?
A full progressive relaxation session takes about 10–40 minutes. But even five minutes is better than none. You can do it while lying in bed, sitting in a chair, or even at your desk.
How Do I Do Progressive Relaxation?
Here’s a basic step-by-step. You can also grab my guided version in The Hub if you want me to talk you through it!
- Get Comfortable: Lie down or sit somewhere you can fully relax. Take a deep breath.
- Start at Your Feet: Tense the muscles in your feet—scrunch your toes, tighten your arches—then hold for 5 seconds. Release slowly and notice the difference.
- Move Up the Body: Progressively tense and release each muscle group: calves, thighs, glutes, stomach, chest, arms, hands, neck, face.
- Breathe Deeply: Inhale while you tense, exhale while you release. Let your breath stay slow and steady.
- Stay Present: If your mind wanders, bring it back to the sensation of each muscle letting go.
By the end, your whole body should feel looser, heavier, and way less “I’m gonna lose my shit.”
Real Talk: Why I Started Using It
I’ll be honest: I used to think progressive relaxation sounded like something from an outdated stress management workbook. I was in college, taking a sports psychology class, and my professor had us all lie down on the floor. I thought he was nuts. But when I tried it, I almost cried. My body felt safe. My brain got quiet. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I truly relaxed.
Now it’s a staple in my week. Not because I’m some zen goddess with a morning routine that involves lemon water and 14 affirmations. No. I’m a mom, a business owner, and a trainer with a ton of clients to keep track of. I use progressive relaxation because it works. Because I need it. And because pretending I don’t need recovery is a fast track to burnout.
Try It for Yourself
If you’re curious (or just exhausted), progressive relaxation might be exactly what your nervous system has been begging for. You don’t need any special equipment or experience, just a willingness to give your body permission to actually relax.
Want to get started right away? Check out The Hub, where you’ll find my guided progressive relaxation session along with other tools to support your well-being and business growth. It’s like having a wellness toolkit at your fingertips, designed specifically for busy women who need practical solutions that actually work.
And if you’re looking for more no-nonsense wellness content that cuts through the noise, you’ll love my podcast, Wellness Rebranded. Together with my co-hosts and fellow Leading Lady Ambassadors, Elizabeth Harris (Elizabeth Harris Nutrition) and Maria Winters (The Coaching Therapist), we tackle topics like intuitive eating, mental health, weight training, and diet culture.
You don’t have to earn your rest. You don’t have to do “more” to deserve peace. You just need to stop for long enough to feel it.
About Tara De Leon
Tara De Leon is a weight-neutral personal trainer and the NSCA Personal Trainer of the Year 2024. She focuses on helping her clients build healthy habits without the pressure of changing their body shape or size. She has worked in fitness for 22 years and loves helping her clients feel badass, confident, and live their lives on their terms. Tara loves to be a resource to cut through the noise around health and fitness, so set up a consultation with her by emailing TaraRDeLeon@gmail.com or listening to her podcast, Wellness Rebranded.
Living in panic mode and ready to try progressive relaxation? If you’re in the Annapolis, MD area, you’re in luck! Tara occasionally offers in-person sessions at The Collective. Join my Leading Lady Facebook Group to get the scoop on when those happen, plus her other fitness and wellness offerings.
