A few years ago, I got a review that made my stomach drop. A client said my coaching sessions felt “rushed and unfocused.” I sat there staring at my computer screen, feeling like someone had just punched me in the gut.
You know that feeling, right? When you’ve poured everything into your business, and someone tells you it’s not enough?
Here’s the thing, though—that review? It completely changed how I run my coaching practice. And honestly, it made me a better coach.
Look, I know handling negative feedback isn’t easy (anyone who tells you it is probably hasn’t been in business very long). But what I’ve learned over two decades of business ownership is this: the feedback that stings the most often holds the biggest opportunities for growth.
Let me show you how to turn criticism into your secret weapon.
Why Negative Feedback Feels Like a Personal Attack
You know what’s funny? Our brains can’t tell the difference between physical danger and someone criticizing our work. When we get negative feedback, our fight-or-flight response kicks in—the same response our ancestors had when they spotted a saber-toothed tiger.
So if you’ve ever wanted to fire back at a critical review or felt your hands get clammy reading a tough comment—yeah, me too. That’s your brain doing its job.
But here’s what changed everything for me: I realized I could actually choose how to respond. Wild, right? When I stopped taking feedback as a personal attack and started seeing it as just information—like, “oh, this tells me something useful about my business”—everything shifted. Suddenly, I wasn’t defending myself. I was learning.
The Emotional Rollercoaster (And How to Get Off)
Let’s get real about what happens emotionally when negative feedback lands in your inbox:
There’s the shock (did they really just say that about my business?), the frustration (don’t they know how hard I’ve worked on this?), the disappointment (maybe I’m not cut out for this after all), and the defensiveness (they just don’t understand my vision).
Trust me, I’ve felt every single one of these. They’re all completely valid reactions.
You know what shifted things for me? I came across Dr. Carol Dweck’s work on the growth mindset. She basically says we’re not stuck. We can actually get better at things through practice and effort. Sounds simple, but when I applied it to feedback, it made a huge difference.
Instead of thinking “this person is saying I’m not good enough,” I started thinking “okay, here’s where I can improve.” That one shift opened up so many doors I hadn’t even noticed before.
Your Step-by-Step Guide to Handling Negative Feedback
Here’s exactly what I do when negative feedback comes my way (and what I teach my clients to do):
- Pause before you respond. I’m serious about this one. Count to ten. Walk around the block. Do whatever you need to do before hitting “reply.” This simple pause has saved me from so many responses I would have regretted.
- Listen to what’s really being said. Sometimes the most valuable feedback is hidden beneath the surface. Ask yourself: What’s the core issue here? Is there truth in this, even if it’s hard to hear?
- Say thank you. I know this feels counterintuitive. But thanking someone for their feedback—even when it stings—shows you’re professional and open to growth. Plus, it often disarms the other person and opens the door to real conversation.
- Step back and reflect objectively. Here’s a trick I use: pretend the feedback is about someone else’s business. What would you tell that person? This little mental shift helps you see the feedback more clearly without all the emotional weight.
- Respond with care. Address the valid points. Share your perspective if needed. But remember—this is a dialogue, not a debate. You’re building a relationship, not winning an argument.
- Create your action plan. This is where the real magic happens. If the feedback points to areas for improvement, develop a concrete strategy to address them. Don’t just think about it—write down specific steps you’ll take.
Advanced Strategies for Turning Critics Into Advocates
Once you’ve got the basics down, here are some advanced strategies you can try:
- Start with empathy. When that client told me my sessions felt rushed, my first reaction was defensive. But then I stopped and thought—what’s really going on for her? Turns out, she was overwhelmed and needed more breathing room to process what we were talking about. That one insight completely changed how I pace my coaching sessions now.
- Lead with appreciation when you respond. I always start by thanking them for taking the time to share their thoughts. Then I address what they’ve said. Then I talk about what’s next. It’s not about being fake or sugarcoating anything—it’s about keeping the conversation going instead of shutting it down.
- Check back in. This one’s simple but powerful. A week or two later, I’ll reach out and say, “Hey, I made some changes based on what you shared—here’s what’s different now.” You’d be amazed at how many critics have become my biggest cheerleaders just because I showed them I was actually listening.
- Ask questions. When feedback is vague or confusing, I dig deeper. “Can you tell me more about what you mean?” or “What would have worked better for you?” These aren’t just polite questions—they give me information I can actually do something with.
The Truth About Emotions in Business
We’re constantly told to keep emotions out of business. Especially as women. “Stay professional. Don’t get emotional.”
But you know what? I think that’s garbage advice.
Your emotions aren’t something to hide. They’re actually giving you really useful information. When a particular comment stings more than others, that’s telling you something. Maybe it hit on an insecurity you didn’t know you had. Maybe it’s pointing to something you actually do need to work on.
People can tell when you’re being real with them versus when you’re putting on the “professional” mask. Your clients want to work with a human being, not a robot reading from a script.
So no, don’t suppress what you’re feeling. Just pay attention to it. Let it inform how you respond instead of controlling you. Your emotions can actually help you build stronger relationships and make better decisions—if you let them.
What This Means for Your Business
Here’s the bottom line: handling negative feedback isn’t just a business skill. It’s a superpower that will serve you in every area of your life.
Every piece of feedback—good or bad—is information. It’s data you can use to make your business stronger, your services better, and your client relationships deeper.
Negative feedback isn’t a report card on your worth as an entrepreneur. It’s a compass pointing you toward areas where you can grow.
So the next time someone shares criticism with you, take a deep breath. Listen carefully. And ask yourself: “How can this help me become an even better leader?”
Your future self will thank you for your courage and resilience.
Ready to Transform How You Handle Feedback?
When you learn to handle negative feedback with confidence and grace, everything in your business gets easier. You make better decisions. You build stronger relationships. You grow faster.
If you’re ready to work on this stuff and really dig in and develop these skills, I’d love to talk with you. That’s exactly what we do in private coaching. We’ll figure out where you’re getting stuck, build your confidence in handling tough situations, and create strategies that actually work for your business and your life.
Want to explore whether coaching is right for you? Schedule a call with me, and we’ll talk through what you’re dealing with and how I can support you.
Because here’s what I know for sure: you have everything you need to build an incredible business. Sometimes you just need the right support to help you see it.
Taking Your Next Steps
Building a resilient business means developing strategies to handle both praise and criticism with grace. If you’re struggling with this aspect of business ownership, know that there’s support available. Here are some ways we can work together:
- Join my supportive community of women entrepreneurs in the Leading Lady Facebook Group, where we discuss challenges like these and share solutions.
- Follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration and support in building your resilient business.
- Listen to the Leading Lady Podcast for weekly tips and strategies on navigating business challenges.
Remember, how you handle challenges often defines your success more than the challenges themselves. You’ve got this, and I’m here to support you every step of the way.
