If you’ve been wondering how to set intentions for the day in a way that actually works, I want to walk you through three questions I ask myself every single morning. I’ve been doing this for years now, and it’s one of the first exercises I walk through with new coaching clients. I’ve shared it with a lot of the women in our Leading Lady community, too. If you’ve ever been to one of my workshops or heard me speak about priority or time management, this exercise always comes up, because I really do believe it’s the foundation.
I call the questions “the three P’s,” and they stand for Proactive, Proud, and Purge. Three questions, that’s the whole thing. It takes maybe five minutes in the morning, or about as long as it takes to brush your teeth.
Before I walk you through each question, let me back up and tell you why I started doing this in the first place. Because honestly, it came out of a problem.
Why I Stopped Doing To-Do Lists
Oftentimes, when I get a new coaching client, she’ll tell me she feels overwhelmed and scattered, like she doesn’t have enough time. She’s usually got a to-do list going, but she still ends each day feeling like she didn’t accomplish what she set out to do. I’ve been there myself.
For a long time, I started every morning the same way. I’d make a to-do list, work through it during the day, and measure my whole day by how much I crossed off. If the list got shorter, I felt successful. If it didn’t, I felt like I’d failed. The question driving all of it was, “what can I do today that’s going to be most productive?”
As a high-achieving woman, that pattern is dangerous. When you’re type A and you’re used to ticking boxes, it feels really good to track all the things you got done in a day. But measuring yourself by output is one of the fastest paths to burnout I see in the women I work with, and it’s a dangerous way to measure happiness, success, or value.
So, I changed the question. That was one of the small mindset shifts that has truly changed how I run my business, and it became the first of the three P’s.
The First P: Proactive
The first question I ask myself each morning is, “what do I need to do today that’s going to be proactive towards my goals?”
Being proactive means being solution-focused and forward-focused. It’s looking at the big picture and understanding that you don’t have to accomplish everything in one day. You just have to take a step forward. You’re not reacting to your day, or to the chaos around you. You’re choosing.
Here’s an example. Let’s say you have a goal of creating your third quarter marketing plan. Something proactive towards that goal might be meeting with your marketing team. Or going back to look at how you did in the third quarter last year. Or pulling up first quarter and doing some research. You don’t have to complete the whole marketing plan in one day. You just have to identify the steps that are going to move you towards getting it done.
Honestly, for me and for the clients I work with, just identifying the first step is what makes the rest start to flow. The proactive question is about understanding that you don’t have to commit to finishing the whole project. You just have to commit to taking the first step.
The Second P: Proud
The second question I ask myself is, “what can I do today that’s going to make me most proud of myself?”
As women, we’re taught not to feel proud. We’re taught not to show pride. And I think that’s incredibly sad. Feeling proud, feeling joy, feeling accomplishment, feeling success: those are all good feelings, and we need to celebrate ourselves. We need to give ourselves a pat on the back when we’ve made ourselves proud.
That doesn’t mean we do things so others give us accolades, or so we get attagirls from other people. We’re not looking for compliments here. We’re really just asking ourselves, “how do I want to show up today in a way that’s going to make me most proud of myself?” So that when I go to bed tonight and put my head on my pillow, I can say, “yeah. I’m really proud of myself and how I showed up today.”
Many times, this is something really small. I might be proud of myself for taking 30 minutes for self-care, whether that’s a walk, meditation, or a phone call with a friend. I might be proud of myself for showing more compassion to a neighbor. Some days, honestly, I’m proud of myself for putting on real clothes instead of working in pajamas.
There’s no judgment here. Whatever it is, it’s what needs to happen today that’s going to make you feel proud of yourself when your head hits the pillow that night.
The Third P: Purge
The third question I ask myself is, “what can I purge today that no longer serves me?”
This is often the hardest question to answer, at least for me. I’m kind of a minimalist when it comes to tangible things, so it’s easy for me to let stuff go. But I really hold onto things in my mind. A fight I might have had. An argument. Negative mind chatter. Beating myself up over something I said in a meeting that I wish I’d thought through a little longer. I hold onto those negative thoughts.
So when I’m thinking about what I need to purge, I’m often thinking about how I need to let go of those thoughts.
Other times, the answer is something physical. “I really need to purge that recycling bag that’s been sitting in my mudroom for the last three weeks.” Or, “I need to purge that stack of papers that’s been sitting on my desk.”
And what you purge doesn’t have to be thoughts or physical clutter. You can purge relationships that no longer bring you joy. Toxic friendships. Toxic interactions with employees or coworkers. Anything you’re holding onto that no longer serves you.
How to Actually Do This Every Day
These are short, simple questions, but they really do set the tone for the day. They lay the foundation for how you want to move through it. The exercise itself doesn’t need a lot of focus, and you don’t need to keep thinking about it once it’s done. Just do it in the morning, while the answers are fresh.
You can literally set these intentions while you’re brushing your teeth. That’s how quick it is. Once you’ve answered the questions, your subconscious takes over. It’s like you’ve manifested it. You’ve put it out there that these are the things that matter to you, and that’s how you want to show up. You’re going to be proactive towards your goals. You’re going to make yourself proud. And you’re going to purge what no longer serves you, whether that’s a relationship, a recurring thought, or a pile of magazines by the door.
How I actually capture my three P’s varies by the day. Sometimes I write them in the margin of my day planner. Sometimes I type them into the notes app on my phone. And sometimes, I text them to a friend. A lot of my coaching clients text me their three P’s in the morning, and I always send them mine back. There’s something about sharing them out loud, even briefly, that makes them stick.
That’s why I don’t want you to spend a ton of time on this exercise. Just ask yourself the question and honor whatever thoughts come up. Whatever you’re called to say is important today. Be authentic with yourself, be honest with yourself, and don’t judge yourself.
Some Daily Intentions Examples to Get You Started
If you’re sitting there wondering what your three P’s might actually look like, here are some examples to get the wheels turning.
Proactive (what’s the first step toward a goal?):
- Have a meeting with my marketing team about the third quarter plan
- Spend 30 minutes researching how last year’s Q3 went
- Send the email I’ve been avoiding
- Block off Friday afternoon for the project I keep pushing
Proud (what will make me feel good when my head hits the pillow?):
- Take 30 minutes for a walk, no phone
- Don’t yell at the kids about homework
- Call my mom back
- Put on real clothes instead of working in pajamas
Purge (what’s no longer serving me?):
- The fight I keep replaying from last Tuesday
- The recycling bag that’s been sitting in the mudroom
- The stack of magazines by the garage door
- The conversation I’ve been avoiding with my business partner
You can see how different these can be from each other. That’s the whole point. Your three P’s are going to look different every day, and they’re going to look different from mine. That’s how it should be.
If you want to share your three P’s with me, come find me in the Leading Ladies Facebook group. I promise you, I’m doing this every day, and I always love seeing what other women are setting their intentions on. You can also catch more of these conversations on the Leading Lady Podcast, where I talk about priority management, work-life balance, and what it really looks like to lead yourself.
And if you’re ready to take this thinking and apply it to the bigger picture of your business, I built a free tool I’d love you to check out. It’s called the Strategic Planning Wheel. It’s a quick audit that helps you see where your time, your energy, and your attention are actually going right now, and where you might want them to go instead. It’s really the same idea as the three P’s, just on a bigger scale.
