I’m always talking about growth with my clients. You know that saying, “we’re either winning or learning”? I really believe that. Learning is growth. But here’s what surprised me: growth doesn’t always show up the way we think it should.
This really hit me when I was talking to a friend who’d just moved to a new state. New jobs, new schools for the kids. Just all these big, scary, uncertain changes happening at once. She told me she’d made the conscious decision to focus on getting her family settled, which meant her business had kind of taken a backseat. “I feel like I’ve lost all my momentum,” she said.
And you know what? Her story reminded me of my lemon tree.
My Not-So-Green Thumb
Okay, so several years ago, I got this idea that I wanted a lemon tree. Now, if you know me at all, you know I do not have a green thumb. (I have what you might call a black thumb – my girlfriends lovingly tell me I’m like a hospice for plants because I transition them to the afterlife with love and care!)
But I got this crazy idea to plant some lemon seeds anyway. I wasn’t expecting much, honestly. But there was this one seed that just really fought for life, and before I knew it, I had this little sprout.
Fast forward five-plus years, and I had a four-and-a-half-foot lemon tree. I was so proud of this tree. I’d invested in it, nurtured it, and – spoiler alert – it hadn’t died! Given my track record, that alone felt like a major win.
When Growth Looks Like Nothing
Here’s where it gets interesting.
In the summer of 2019, I kept the tree outdoors like I’d done every year. One side of the tree grew like crazy. But the other side? It looked pretty bad. I was worried – was it sick? Was it dying? That entire summer, that one side just… did nothing. And I couldn’t help but feel a little sad and defeated. (Especially knowing my history with plants, right?)
Then, in early fall, I moved the tree back indoors. I noticed some tiny little sprouts on that side that hadn’t been growing. And then, I’m not even exaggerating, in a matter of days, that side of the tree suddenly shot out. The tree was even again!
But here’s what really got me: when I looked closer, the trunk was so much thicker and stronger than it had been at the beginning of summer.
While I thought nothing was happening, the tree was actually strengthening its roots. It was preparing for a growth spurt. It was building the foundation it needed to support all that new growth.
What This Means for Us
Look, the most profound growth happened when it seemed like nothing was happening at all.
Let me say that again: The most profound growth happened when it seemed like nothing was happening at all.
In our fast-paced world, we’re constantly pressured to show progress, right? Keep moving. Keep hustling. But just like my lemon tree, sometimes the most significant growth happens when we pause to strengthen our roots.
Maybe that looks like taking time to learn new skills. Maybe it’s reflecting on your experiences. Or maybe, and this is important, it’s reassessing your goals and strategies to make sure they still align with who you are and what you want.
A Client’s Story
Let me share something really special with you.
In 2020, I worked with a client who found herself working from home during the pandemic while managing distance learning for her two small kids. (Can you even imagine?) This period made her realize some important things about her career and what she really wanted from life.
At first, she really struggled with this decision. She kept telling me, “I feel like I’m going backwards. Like everything I worked for doesn’t matter anymore.” She’d put years into building that career, and walking away from it brought up all these feelings of defeat and self-doubt.
But through our coaching sessions, we dug into her values and priorities. We talked about what quality of life really meant to her – not what she thought it should mean, but what it actually meant. And here’s what happened: she discovered she was craving creativity. She wanted a more social career path. Something totally different from what she’d been doing.
Choosing a different path didn’t mean she wasn’t growing. She was branching out (see what I did there?) in new directions that actually aligned with who she was becoming.
Here’s What I Want You to Know
My lemon tree? It’s thriving now. It’s a daily reminder that growth can be unexpected and that we need to be gentle with ourselves during these processes.
My friend who felt like her business had lost momentum? She’s flourishing in her new environment.
And my client? She’s discovering new aspects of herself and what she truly wants.
Growth Is a Journey (And That’s Okay)
If you’re feeling like you’re not growing right now, I want you to remember the lemon tree story.
Growth isn’t always about moving up and out. Sometimes, and honestly, some of the best times, it’s about going deep. It’s about laying a strong foundation. It’s about preparing for what’s next.
So here’s what I want you to do: take a moment today to think about your own growth. Maybe it doesn’t look like you thought it would. Maybe it feels like nothing’s happening right now.
But something is happening. You’re building that foundation. You’re getting stronger, even when you can’t see it.
Remember this: progress doesn’t always look like progress. Sometimes it looks like standing still. But you’re not standing still. You’re putting down roots.
Join the Leading Lady Community
For more insights and strategies on leading a fulfilling life, both personally and professionally, I invite you to join my community:
- Tune into the Leading Lady Podcast.
- Connect with me on Instagram.
- Join the conversation in the Leading Ladies Facebook Group.
Let’s embrace our growth journeys together, no matter how they unfold.
